When you ride on an airplane, as we all know, we are asked to put our own oxygen mask on first before assisting our children or other adults that need help. Why? Because if we don’t and fail to get our own mask on to start the flow of live-giving oxygen we might not be able to assist others.

I had an experience 8 years ago where I denied my emotions in order to support those around me during a difficult time. (I did not put on an oxygen mask - I did not see that I needed to.) I felt I needed to stay strong in the face of uncertainty. Months of emotional denial led to an output of vocalized frustration, anger, and resentment towards those closest to me. I decided to get help on the recommendation from a friend who said, “just do it.”

I needed that push.

With support I finally cried but... I did not yet understand the connection between the denial of my feelings - which I was doing to “best” support those around me during a time of uncertainty - and the brewing and combustive feelings of anger and resentment.

Months later, in reflection I came to realize that I did not go through the emotions of those uncertain times because I was denying putting my own mask on first and pushed those feelings down in order to support those around me.

Let that sink in.

I denied my feelings in order to support those around me who were experiencing the same uncertainties I was. And when I denied those feelings, my own feelings, they eventually bubbled up and affected my relationships with those closest to me.

During this global pandemic, as we are isolated in our homes, I plead for you to feel your emotions, become aware of your fears and your mental thoughts, and share them with your support system. Do not be the warrior who does not put their own oxygen mask on first - it won’t do you any good in the long run. Take it from me. It is okay to be scared, fearful, sad, lonely, mad…. Add your feelings to this list. Now let's put our oxygen masks on…. What do you need? What will support you in this time?

Go do that first.

Then you will be the warrior your support system needs.